Monday, 11 May 2020

Saying Goodbye with feeling low while working in Lockdown - Stage 3

Well, its the next lot of rounds with lockdown and well actually still the same which is on day 70 ish. But we decent onto friendships falling apart and mostly working to the point of things not being done I wanted to get done.

First, we realised its been 2 years since Seeing chadders and also exploring London before my first ever speed dating event.  which does make things so scarry on how time goes by.

Which that was one crazy weekend in my life even though by that time I was exhausted on that afternoon and needed.

But it was also coming to the stage of working more often with Directly really having some hard troubles and on top of that was also real-life customers having to be more wanting me around which is fine since sometimes you need to make the effort in one way or another. Lidl pasties were amazing actually, especially when govern cooked too.

But then it was really back to realising abut the messages, Now let's just be clear, this happened to 2 good friends of mine and this started since December when actually things were deeper and more important for me than ever and disappearing troll accounts are just fucking lame and deserved a cough on them, but this was 2 happening in the month of Decem ber then it was once every 2 months.

On top of that along with the Fake Paypal made, it was also some very confidential messages that were tapping to me at the time of things no one even knew about which I did check on passwords and all but nothing appeared suspicious. Also at the time, there were Several catfish going around as well.
Now with nothing that can be done and at the time, I kept quiet to not call any attention out to the friends that had it/

Well, I and some people started Digging to find out but well sadly it did not give me any good hope on it and even had to question the chance of the stood up in November might never have happened at all, and was waiting in Euston for no reason.

This did make me fall into just feeling like what's the point of getting up, well low mood and well feeling like if things go wrong in another place then why bother to keep going since I was that low and it does hurt.

But sure all I can do is keep some normal bits going so rustlers was a nice mixed meal as well.

The Rustlers Chocolate Cake burger 

But then it was a sunny day and work to be done so a shopping vlog on the cards as well as #dogwalkingwithomracer in fields that people kick off  about using (1 day later)

A selfie 

The nice bits in lidl 

More side bits like frozen fruit 

This was a nice way to keep up with the Vlogs in a small way and actually, part of that ended up to an omracer Reviews on the Mint Apple Drink,  IT was nice to film on the tripod I will admit, but that was with my Luck hoping to change from the bad turn withholding in my hand a 4 leaver clover after my mum fo8und one the day before.

The 4 Leaf Clover

Tymbark Apple Mint 

That lid 

mems in the lid 

But that was then the weekend out of the way and time to work on things, From quoting movies to watching some of the animated batman while working on questions when it's like 1am since replies cannot be left out 

But well it was nearing a new moth in the future of uncertainty and hope for meeting in others. Which to start of that week with a smoothie and also Finely being a boss and getting birds in his mouse-like a boss

The smoothie 

That evil boss look 


But then we end the month with more plans of those Instagram gibberish and well as Captain Morore cheers  100 years old, I was working my butt off and working with delivery and fitting printers for customers as well But it leads to another shopping too. The Printer too much longer than I expected ti to and it did stress me out but I got there in the end on a Saturday afternoon 

Deliveries to do 

More Lidl shopping 

Tesco for some of the tea that night and cat food 

But also a girl from feabie I follow on twitch actually moved to Plymouth which is interesting, to say the least but well no good thing will be coming from that just yet. Plans to shave were underway and sometimes headaches were happening from knowing. Plus mini snacks and cake mix for breakfast and attempting to bath the cat did not go well

But after mixed sandwichs and also apologising to S for everything thats happened to her over the past few months when she was going through the tough time of things. But there was a hope it would head but as i soon to find out, it was not the case and well the words were Goodbye as well as good luck with all the scammers that kept wanting to make effort with me but actually don't since only one girl really made the effort with me last year and she knows how amazing she is and how things have turned out.

The end-all of a 3-year online friendship had to fade, maybe a time I was ever introduced to voice notes and also well maybe the only Phone calls i've had this year of just chats. Sadly no hard feelings due to the friendship were full of drama which I'm sorry things turned out the way they did.

But then it was mostly working online the rest of those days which was a day of delivery since some customer did purchase some headsets and mousemats. So I topped up on the Stealth range of headsets from suppliers. But that was after a nice time to ger some flowers and deliver to outside my grandparent's house.

Finely being the grumps

Farm shops and plants

The Stealth headsets
Then it was still working and actually then dealing with VE day, where actually it was working for visits, like 3 and also cycling on roads i've never tried before which was quite nice but the weather was that humid vibe with a bit of soaking rain. But some neighbours in the street had bunting but for me was mostly working since 2 people to sort out, one with video conversion issues on a vista laptop and a casual lesson with customers socially apart.

I also caught up to chat to someone special and our memories of going Creams I cannot wait to take her again, then again maybe there is hope somewhere special with how I and she have been through since December. Plus Zara asks for food on the same day as this like she just messages me a week ago asking if i was not single like I said to her i was not single since November and then just messages me 6 months later out of the blue But shes happy for me I found someone.

The weather was amazing as that lesson ended and the cycle back was good but realising later on the bearing was the way out was a risk. But for now, until Sunday, I was surviving. Especially with a more cold shop at Lidl.

The shop in Lidl

Empty Streets

In all honesty, its been a weird blue these past 2 weeks have been one of those blue moments and realising how I was in places longer than I should have, realising that you still have to question moments just because I have to realise that if someone says they exist they do even with little proof. But we have to just move on and walk on without closure except someone actually gives you that for the first in 10 years.

But now it's back to time of working and Bank Holiday is over, Directly fixed money stopping bug, Work delays got sorted today and still waiting for other customers to get back and hopefully soon some free time to get videos made and the accounts for 2019/2020 sorted.

I'll catch up in 2 weeks to see how the world is fairing, Especially now some travel restrictions are relaxed, things will be better and well maybe more vlogs to cycle about. I've always wanted to do a video from Tavi to Oke one day.

see you soon