Sunday, 20 July 2014

A 5 year #reflection

Well, its now been 5 years since i made a promise to myself and also starting to sign up for one social media account which has changed my life completely, thats a bad thing to say in some people's minds, but it has.

And by that i mean Twitter. Yep the social network people have been arrested for using and speaking their mind, the one where a small twat like me managed to get over 1,000 people reading what my thoughts in life are and one where my mind has been opened up to the variety of life and how i've made friends which would never of been possible.

So, all i can still remember is i was just feeling low after losing Abbey, man its been over 5 years since i brokedown in tears because i lost one of the most amazing gingers and girl at the time that made me happy and i lost the chance and lost her forever. Even though from what i heard at Goose Fair. Shes now with someone else, which is a good sign i suppose but still a chance lost and even though i should venture back, its still too late.

But i sat down on a single armchair sofa and set up twitter, it was something that some people on fb said to me, now i never go back, its been like a child, raising it, telling it stories of how good/shit/fun/unfun my life actually is, maybe some people listened and maybe they don't actually give 2 shits or some just go "LOL" at the things from the food, to the actual fantasies i end up having over people that are comfy to cuddle, dance alot but eat like an immobile feedee (like peri) but its been one heck of a ride.

I mean, the way that i've now got over 68,000 tweets in 5 years is pretty insane, thats 13,000 tweets per year i make, which is from the flirting with mcdonalds workers who i have been close to falling for, asexual mermaids working in nightclubs, netflix lovers who are giantesses with a shy smile and soft thighs, best friends, super sized goddesses on paysites, even one i've signed up to since we have been good friends from twitter and even one girl i fell in love with and realised the same thing that happened in the past happens again. It all adds up.

I've seen twitter change over the years, sure there have been times where the RT button wasn't the best thing but its much easier, DMming people hasn't taken off normally but businesses have been using it for customer services which has even surprised me (aka the moment i had a Irish BT rep call me on the toilet hours later after i reported the house phone down for over 4 weeks, that was just before a night out). There have also been to many memes and shitty quotes going around, which just makes it a not so happy time. But one of the best things is that the adult industry has thrived on it, which of course can have its moments but some of the sights i've seen are amazing, ok more to the plus sized nudity which has been a sometimes smile to my day as well as my dick, (yup its cringey but that is the honest truth).

Of course, I've not just had good experiences, i've had shit ones too. From arguing with Londoners over a girl that i found attractive to the amazing degree but i still can't believe she was stupid enough to be knocked up, but that the society in Plymouth these days. There was also a time i was arguing with a shit rapper, since i was friends with his ex and he was trying to be all Stuck up and like a proper pimp.

Then there was the time i fell out with a Big Cutie from london, but that was partly my fault, except then you have the annoying situation of a girl that was a mcdonalds worker (she works with jess i think) that took the piss out of her then although she said sorry to her, i was blamed for RTing her every so often, but i did send bonnie 2 boxes of Lindt Ball chocolates via amazon wishlists as a sorry months later, as a surprise sorry type thing, but that i don't think ever got received or i heard nothing back, but thats fair enough.

Then there was only December last year when a shitstorm happened which i could of changed fate and enjoyed something with Emma if i only gone ahead with a plan to win her heart using the Lion king tickets, i still SMH (smack my head) about not doing that, but i know swaggy was only trying to help but that completely fucked up alot of chances i could of had.

Then there was that time, which my heart smacked into pieces when i walked out of wagamamma's and i found out the one person that made me happy and i loved and still love was engaged, i still wish that never happened and it still hurts months later and i still count the months since that moment, fucking fucking fuck. But i just run with it now and hope something happens and then i need to get my act together and prove myself, i will still never forgive myself for not taking up the chances i could of had. But its that knack or that thing, the same things can repeat themselves in different ways years later.

Then there was that time that i won a Battlefield 3 or 4 Dog tag from game by the sundial but i never picked that up, contests i've never had luck with in general, but with twitter, there is no luck there either. Which doesn't bother me as such since i know i just don't bother entering many since its not worth the hassle, i just save up hopefully enough. That and i've met people that follow me and some i follow back which when you think about it, its more than enough and happy that the people you can do a @ to you can shake hands with, even if some are with people they don't deserve, and yes i've done that twice.

But its a sign where its helped my journey and also hindered it. So i know that although nothing is perfect, there is a point that if it wasn't for getting on twitter, i would of missed out on many opportunities and i've only missed out on a minor few but i still bother and try to get on as and when.

Sadly, there are times where shit has gone down and i've been blocked, which some are fair enough but some were wayyy uncalled for. All i can do is list the top 10 or so...

  • Emma  - We were best friends at one point but we fell out since she was worried about how she looked :( when she looked pefectly fine as she was, had some amazing curves :)
  • Hannah  - Another girl but this time she was a goddess from east cornwall but shes lost that amazing curves which when i still see how she used to look, i still wish i could of at least taken her on a date as she was. 
  • Chloe  - Once she offered to be my girlfriend for £100, she was a good looking blonde too, but shes lost some of that, even though i sat right next to her at charleys 20th, which we actually talked..
  • BC Bonnie - I've mentioned what happened already
  • Callie - I think i just pressed the follow button then blocked without a word said to either me or i said to her
  • Cassi - She was nice but after what happened with Emma, that was the end of it.
  • Viccie - she is one amazing ginger and i liked her as she was, but she didn't like herself :(
  • Emily - I think we just fell out in general
  • Kerrie - She was quite fun, ate a fair amount but was a ST so that was just a no luck.
  • Amy - You might of seen a bit of what happened on a vlog of a night out in May 14, but she was a goddess with cute curves and she blocked me for that. Although she liked me as a person ??, she wasn't ok with being told she actually looked good as she was. 

But heres to 5 years and hope the next 5 i'm still around and still making like the same but maybe better than ever, there is a lot to go and i've got a fair few things to plan. The new year resolutions have still had no progress, even if i did offer Jess a all paid for date night (that was in the envelope if people didn't know, i haven't mentioned that to anyone until now), but i've got hopes that might come to face. Also i fistpumped on friday when i found out my best friend is single, which i know won't go anywhere but i've actually rehearsed what i could say to her which might work but might not but all i can do is plan and hope and make sure i'm ready.

That and i'm hopefully free for another long night out and i might finally get my first kiss, it might cost me £50 or more but to be honest, if i don't get it done, i'm always going to wish and hope and wait and it will never happen, people say that it will and i should just wait (a beautiful girl named Tash said that in a heart to heart) but i'm knowing that waiting for something that might never happen is a lonely ride and the longer you wait, the harder something can be to get and do. Even if i do "get all the pussy" from what people say, recently swaggy and some friends of his have said that but being 21 and not having kissed a girl is quite frankly, embarrassing and its starting to feel like a "just get it over with at least you know your not as far behind as the rest of life" than a special moment. But i know that this year is the end of the single guy lifestyle and the beginning of the settling down and its hard that i wake up still knowing i've not had a first kiss, first cuddle, first relationship at a time where people are getting knocked up within 4 months.

So, i leave you with that there thoughts of the above, times ARE changing but will i be able to catch up before 2015, will i be settled down by the time its my 10th anniversay on Twitter when i'm 26 and maybe not a virgin, maybe i make a shit mistake and knock someone else up, maybe i get my first kiss, first proper belly massage to give, maybe the first time that someone might blush as i say "i love you" to their face then kiss.

But for now, who knows, i might end up dead somewhere, but i have yet to see my fate