Tuesday, 10 March 2020

The Week off catchup

Well, it been 2 months of 2020 and actually things have been a bit of a shock for me which most things I can't even talk about but well its time for catching up and well also telling how plans went for a week to myself on the first week of March.


We leave after the day of Visiting a customer and a potential meetup failing which actually made complete sense and also caused alot of stress due to the events of the fact of the PayPal scam, now things were a bit of a broken state for reasons I can't talk about. But it was actually trying to knuckle down with the work side of things since it was quiet for most customers wise and suppliers I had to pay off and it was taking time to get that sorted  But the soles I had from that day out were no way sticking down to the bottom as they should, I used the Zhlainda glue B-7000 to repair it and still to this day as (only 1 month later) it fits and has not moved.

But it was nice with some good food about with a friend getting me some for loaning her a Huawei mi-fi pebble and also the plans to change my hair were being prepared, It turned out electric blue was to win on this one.

Which then from there I had also to sell the Xiaomai 6A due to my dad's laptop screen breaking which means I couldn't use that but it also means it can make it easier to plan to get the right laptop for streaming but saying that as I realise the micro USB Port the tbox Mini plus sadly broke off too.  Which that weekend I also had been lectured by CC  that you cant feed girls to get them to like you which means I was meant to try a different approach but in some ways, I'm not allowed to explain, I don't have to look for a relationship anymore and I should be waiting and supporting a friend.

But it was also good due to the fact I managed to get the video review for the Mi Band 4 up and its got some lovely quirks with it.

The band

Getting it to charge

But alas with that weekend being away it was working as normal, both jobs with not sleeping until 1am, wasting computer power on a site like Gener8 which yes i've made 500 gener8 currency in a month but I can't even spend it without referring friends and making 2 people click the link . But it was also the time of another storm, #stormciara which means more rain to cope with sadness, which soon the rain was going to be too much for alot of people. For me, it meant just having to cycle a different way home due to a path blocked by a tree.

But it was shortly another customer to help out with and plan then suddenly I get this random phone call from Natwest. So they call and then to tell me that apparently, I had money out of my account according to try them and then we arrange a callback, turns out after arguments and stupid OTP codes, I did get scammed by a Mr Dribbler and a Mr Poroski so that was a panic call to the actual fraud team the morning after and well thank fuck they got that amount back of £1500.

So with that happening, it was feeling that maybe things will have to change in the next few weeks and make choices of where I stay and who I settle for and also with new promotions appearing, it was time to order Big mac sauce and for £10.35 I managed to get 5 pots delivered to me. 

It was so tempting to not use them all but I did once Pancake day was over. But until then it was also time to get a holder ot use the Note 7 for something new and exciting. Since I was mean to meet and use the tripod with her but well since that meetup never happened. But instead, it gave me a plan,

This was the plan of using the Google camera app for the Note 7 to see if I can make some night photos look amazing and well, I think the results show for themselves, these were taken about midnight. And yes nothing happened for valentines day at all since people that have made the effort were there for me

But it was taking time to get that work sorted. Yes, black Friday was a nightmare due to taking a £4,000 PayPal working capital loan out for work and actually, it took 85 days to pay that. And well the day I paid it off, work had refunds to deal with which means the second job was paying for that due to overdraft concerns. But it sometimes helps to habe that one phone call with that special friend who is there for you but being there for them is important as well.

But then it was the pots arriving which did cheer me up and it was time to get the taste of Big mac which i've not had since the trip home from London ,

The pots of Big Mac sauce for £10.39

But the world was braving for the strain of Corona, more floods have devastated the world up the north of the uk which more of these storms are getting common. But ir was also nice to finally have nice late meals after long days at work, since sure Chatting to the amazing friends that help me out and also having reflections about leaving feabie once and for all was on the cards here too.

But it was also time to make that new signout pose known, the thumbs-up is now gone since it has to from others used it which gives a bad rep actually, labelling I would class that as actually. But we have it here anyway

Now during one of the visits I had that previous weekend, I was meant to play Fortnite with some fans and also the customer, But i've had no room to download fornite and well it means for me its not possible to which that will be in the later months if I decide to do it, since maybe this blog will be for thoughts about things I can talk about soon.

But it also meant I can get an afternoon off to purchase what i need for things to work the way I want them too,

But also it was turning out that family treasures to be sold off and also a cancer time developed with my grandad's fiance which is something that will always affect others and things will take their turn for the worse especially if the motivation is not there, but we can always hope, but with news that will hurt me in ways I won't realise just yet, that might cheer her spirits.

But then it was Pancake Day. Finally, time to use the tripod for filming I thought, but sadly glass was not for this one

But it was some nice combos and filling to say the least, I did use a whole box to myself so like 8 pancakes made 3.

The Pancakes 

It was a shame glass messed up when wanting to film it, but we got around it in the end.
Then it was finally the last few days in Feburary, more delays on repairs making stress high and work bills being there and making trouble for me later in this year. Friends also having the times i can't talk about but it gave me a memory of the events of what happened with Charley when the last day I ever saw her. But what I was not prepared for, on who it was meant to remind me of. 

I was caining the second job and making that money for someone special too. But there were new things on TV, I was in the south Park binging since my NowTV entertainment pass for sharing was never well shared. But you have ot focus to make that money for plans you will have to go through to make it work. 

But alas it was finally time to purchase the things for the project of change next wee and BOY there were changes

We now headed into March after solving customer questions and well things were going to be changing


Well, first things first, I left feabie, it was time to move on, things never worked out on that site and really from how much i've spent on girls from there (over £1000 in 5 years) and really i've only ever met 7 people from there and only 2 I met on a one and one basis (well actually 1 if you forget one since I knew her before feabie since I introduced her to it).

Yes, it was time to leave feabie and start changes to finally see if something real can happen since the incidents and also a feeling either Karla never existing which broke me along with various changes that community puts up with and also that fact with it was taking too much of my time up as well. But that 1 am time was a chance to leave

That time to leave

Then it was onto getting the Scale filmed and that didn't turn out too bad, of course, it has a simple use and also makes it easier but well I did get new batteries for it from work., But also it was good ot fit a better master socket to improve the broadband.

Before the socket

Fitted and cable from the shop/lockup

The Scale

The stats

When it leads me to the next few days by myself, which sadly I was working for most of them, but I managed to finally get the scaled video done but that was a delay in its own right since customers we're calling me up from work left right and centre and even had fo pop out just after I got home, which then I just had food and then relaxed and crashes out. But I did take the dog our and did some more amazing night shots

That is night vision there 

The shooting stars and the sun

The purple skiy

Then t comes to the Tuesday and it ass a long day at work with various bits fo sorting out and also paying for orders I shouldn't have purchased which out rent and things later than normal but it all got paid in the end, like yes I felt it was bad but that was the night I got the video up at 5 am since Wednesday was looking like a day off as far as I know. Then Wednesday I woke up at 10:30 after fapping and only 4 hours sleep, since it was just too hitting for me to deal with and a new Sony rep called and we chatted for a bit before I walked Rosie for more balls as usual.

The first thigh was craving for a sausage and bacon sandwich which was to be cooked via the sandwich maker and we'll people did not like the preparation of that, not one bit, but it was nice to eat even if I should have left if cooking for longer than the 10 minutes  indeed

Preparing the toastie

But then it was finally time to get something done, by done I mean the hair audit was a tricky one to film without the risk of staining the house in blue

but I managed it in small forms and got it bleached first, a bit of string was the first to happen but that's due to the haircut I was sadly having on Sunday before this occurred.

The bleaching started

Another pose with the blonde hair

Then if as time came for the blue and thay I did outside since it was easier to cope with the effects around instead of having it inside the house, but then it was time for one last dog walking and also then editing for the night and then a friend was going to call so we could catch up on what has happened which I'm not allowed to say

Now as well as this, it turns out that I could have the chance fo cook something amazing which I did with tempura battered seaweed, chips and also then some chicken rest for good measure sd well since I was hungry.

Insert pics here

Then it was the Thursday and bother day in work and also a camera to set up so rip the mi camera since that was going to a better place for a customer to feel safe.

Then I got home and more dogwalking commenced which was casual and then it was finally some time off chores and also clothes to organise and jeans to cut, which I did that while watching birds of prey, sonic, then MIb International which then less me fo finish at all at 2:30 am and yes no productivity was poor and I should have done more but soon I get to.

Insert pics here

Then it was the final day and I was happy, I felt myself again with lush hair and also cut jeans even in the cold weather but I felt I could work and then sure a big of arguments probably happening after work when I  got home but little did I know I was in for a feeling of major anxiety,

The shoes and the cut jeans

Now then, I come home and walk Rosie on tv railway kind this time to make it easier and see some views of muddy cuttings a preparing for what could happen but then they arrived and got greeted and no drama about the hair. we caught up and charred. Rosie was being back fo fully normal in this case. Also, they had starburst which I nearly ate the best of the contents in the packed since the fruit gum add amazing.

The muddy path

The views of the other side of Tavistock 

Sooner after the onion and got chocolate omelette, my sister's boyfriend came over and we all chatted and then had said something and my sides just flared up in anxiety. He asked for me dad's blessing to marry and those 3 were talking and he did say to me ill look after her but that's not what was making me on edge.

 well since it was this time 5 years ago Charley got engaged which hurt and also since it also reminded me of how I lost Emma it just makes me realise I can't feel comfortable going to the wedding and I need to firmly write to her on not being involved, sooner rather than last minute but I know if I go through with this and end up by myself at that wedding it will fucking hurt and if something between me and someone doesn't work out then well I don't know what ill do and well it just puts me in nerve edge about it all.

 but all I can say at the point is if night be the closure of walking away with no goodbye that can really affect me and yes I never had the chance and just had to move on but it comes to a point where being in your own just can't bring you happiness and yes it's a problem that I might have to get therapy for this and also to be able to understand the sex aspect like why something simple like a condom is difficult to use and how sex works plus so I can understand what to do and so I can cope being there which sounds fucking stupid but sometimes it's either that or something like a sick note
I mean I completely understand why the engagement is going to happen but it's just for me a fragile time and memories and if just feels like it's 2020 going on 2015 with repeat and I feel the best for me is to just distance myself from situations like this and also yes I mean recently I've learned a lot of things and we'll feel close to finding love but hurdles can feel too much

But then if was working n the Saturday and realising things im going to have to deal with and work has been piling up so it's not being anything fo do but the time restraint are not there the tea and evening that let me get the second job done to make some money.

But Sunday came and still a bit of crying from worries in my head and it was nice to take and get some things and like walk the dog and clean the bike, but as we were walking, my dad nearly chucked the dogs ball in rope at my mom and when she was not happy about it histories off back to the car and both of us followed, so only waking for 12 minutes. Then if wax a pasty for lunch and then they went out so I had the chance to clean the bike

The bike before cleaning

The present for my nan

The bike too alot of spraying and cleaning int various losses I don't normally clean but the sun was then a shower then another bit of sun and nice to have google home blasting out my favs sings youtube playlist eventually an hour and a bit later it was all sorted.

after the bike clean 

Then since fine ass out it took a bit longer to prepare to go to my hands for an early birthday visit, but we left at 4:29 odd and then we caught up and chatted for a few hours, so I was falling asleep a bit when mum was casting the pics of the trip to the tv. Eventually, it ass 6 pm and we made our day home but got an android tv box from my grandad so I could use some app I was setting up in customers fire tv stick after he had an amazing idea of a mast with wireless for a better 4G signal.

on the way back

But then was got home and it was to get things sorted out and that box was setup since of the box mini using the same power cable then tea and a bath before things were to be typed up before a long day of working on Monday.

Then it as a Monday, I felt tired and drained and yet it was another visit go Calstock, like meters be honest here I was planning to try again as I did a month ago but since both of us haven't talked since the 28th I just felt there was no point to ask so it was a visit and bus home after upgrading from vista to 10 which is at least a 4-hour job it took 7 hours, just after the wifi started to work and then I was in the rain to catch the last bus home.

And there we have it, thin

It was also nice to chat to a really good friend I did make on feabie and ended up getting a £26.99 platter which was from a just eat gift card for someone else but I and she didn't talk much even though I try to reach out to her so meeting probably might never happen.

But actually, it took 7 hours, just after the wifi started to work and then I was in the rain to catch the last bus home and I did get it luckily,

Then it was time to greet parents and see how they were and if my sister did get engaged but I've not seen that on WhatsApp so lucky so far. But then it was a nice takeout or just something battered before I relaxed and then prepared for work as normal tomorrow

Well there we got and sadly, there has been no improvement on the New Year resolutions and well it didnt work out which hopefully that will change but now of this news, it will be unlikely.

I will see you soon and fill you in when i managed to start therapy for the anxiety.