Already things feel like 2022 is going off to a bad start and this also leads to maybe the resolutions being different to see if there have been a good chance of completing some of them since I know that has not been the case but at least I tried. But this goes over the next 3 days before the first week which is supposed "supposed" to be a week but what will happen I do not know. but this then leads to more of things I do not know. Especially now things are feeling back to before 2019 in some ways and 2021 in others.
New Years Day:
|The Big Ben for it|
Now from this fallout it put me even more on nerves since with the next few days and what could transpire it felt like this was going to make it worse and texting someone to say happy new year is important even though no reply. But this was also the tense moment of that while deciding if i have the energy to get the music video editing, which I did not in the end. This maybe was a mistake and maybe it was a case to then text another friend and we chatted about things and well, the truth was told and she did give some advice which later on I would end up knowing I've got to do.
|The Stick of Vengeance ram|
|The Chocco nussa and Chorizo sandwich|
But this is when things get tense as I import some footage to the macos side of things, and then a call comes out regarding neighbours of grandparents and then it was a massive argument about them coming with me to get the jab and especially as I panicked from being in the GP in less than 3 days ago and also the chance that Home Park is not offering it for the Tuesday, it means it might have to be that pharmacy nearby i booked, I mean why the FUCK can't this be offered in a PHARMACY which is less than 5 MILES away which there are some JABS being done in RESTAURANTS for convenience. But this makes me shakey for most of the day and even when texting after this and was also the change of me to finally get changed to then go and see grandparents which I finally emailed the NHS contact i was last with back in August to book this to finally sort out the penis and well it has lead to other anxieties starting to grow on me for this side.
This year is looking like a stressful start and anxiety is going through the roof. Keeping focus is going to be tough— Mattie LT Marker (@omracer) January 1, 2022
|The Roast turkey with the extras as well|
Then it was time to do some chores and get things like the plates cleaned, the bird table was filled up with bread while dad building another bird feeder and then it was then time to clean the windows which had seagul poo at various parts, but eventually it was time to get the Portal re-checked which for some reasons did not mention as to why it did not work out. But with a few calls later, it was sorted and ready to work but his number was not in service either. But eventually we got home , the shakes were kicking in a tiny bit and as we walked Rosie, only just to the railway line. But then it makes
|Some of the leftovers for the tea on new year|
|Typing the posts up and watching videos and TV at the same time|
It was only 2 days left until things were going to fel scary but it will be the first night I did not have to rush to type things up and did not have to do things overnight, that will be back to normal next week ocne feeling better maybe. But then it was on to another day.
The second of Jan:
|The Fruit smoothie for the morning|
Then it was a suggestion that mum wanted a bath in the morning, and with my anxiety still kicking in, it was time to just take it easy with things, so we did, especially as the rain was pouring down and make the things just less chance to deal with the outside world right now since It was going to be scary and even at various points today, it felt like it could go at a wrong turn .But then I was time to get a walk with Rosie sorted and was going to vlog but the rain and the wind was coming up, so not ideal to get it done, and realizing that not many of the resolutions from 2021 are completely failed in most cases. Maybe this is still me having to mull it over to find the next plan out.
|The soup and the extra|
Then it was soon time to get changed to go for a shop for bits in Tesco and Lidl, this was a nice shop from some bits, the vlogging kits were still there, but other parts were there, even a 50" TV, But then it was to go to tesco to get some more bits which were like a bowl, some snacks and even struggling to fine what rum looks like to then put in the mix with lime and mint cordial from robinsons. But then it was time to go home about the 4pm mark as places were going to close. #
|The wraps as well as the sticks and the salad|
But then it was time to relax and finish off some FNAF watching while watching big on TV too, plus gets to the point of hoping for something to change or maybe things to be less worrying, but it does make it preparing for what was to come. But then it was to hopefully see and tweet the pics from the things before going back to work, I did try to charge the bike battery and found out the Back brad Pads have worn so it mans it will be harder to go down hills without crashing.
The 3rd January:
|The scratch at the top in just 2 days of leaving it there.|
|The Ham with casserole and kale with the extras|
The 4th day - Vaccination
|Rosie while walking|
Then It was more chaos as the wind was going up, the time was to panic was not yet but Edge was about the word, it did not help with the strong wind and the fact rosie was deciding to do what she wanted and run away with the ball. But it was the end of the walk since it was nearing 11am. Especially as this other dog decided to sniff and Rosie was not happy, so it was on the lead. Especially as the postman was around the corner was the postman.
Trembling in the morning and even shaking as I walk and type this, things are not looking good today. Then again 5 months between jabs should be safer ...— Mattie LT Marker (@omracer) January 4, 2022
Jab is done but still shaking the entire way back and even as I'm home— Mattie LT Marker (@omracer) January 4, 2022
As I was eating this slowly and took longer than usual since i still felt uneasy and also using water to help detox me in this feeling of making sure I don't trigger off any ills and even while washing this up later on I was feeling that little bit more shit or on edge.
Wednesday the 5th.
|The Cookie Sandwich and the vitamin c drink|
|Rosie in the background|
|The omelette with ritz crackers|
But then it was deciding what to do and actually I have to now decided to get the bike cleaned, since it was overdue and well the time to get things arranged for next week, since visits were booked already.
|The Back of the bike before|
|After the back of the bike has been cleaned|
|The front was clean too|
So then it was time to get rosie out and then it was good to take a small tripod and then walk to the same spot I did come back from earlier on and this means to get it filmed, but it worked nicely, except it was the plan to see how it goes with finally saying the new year resolutions. Now Rosie was barking for the ball to be thrown so it was walking back and forth while filming, but it was nice to finally talk without holding the phone out, I know i should have brought the bigger tripod but no change on my prepwork there.
|The chicken balls, the chicken bits and the cous cous|
Then it was time to watch TV with parents, chat to my sister whom came over around 9:30 and some prison show was on but she was talking and busy working but came back from spoons. But it was also good to type this up and well tomorrow the video will probably be.
The 2021 Resolutions:
- Stream more -Failed, like only streamed 3 times if any - FAIL
- Catch up with the accounts in work - I caught up to October and it then stopped - SUCCESS
- Be able to hug someone non work or family related - Did not happen - FAIL
- Complete at least 2 games in a story mode - Did not happen - FAIL
- Do more Day out vlogs - only 1 - FAIL
- Schedule/plan out days more - I sort of got some days planned and did write a list of some, I think FAIL
The 2022 Resolutions:
- Sort out the Down there problems and prepare to be able to have sex -This has been overdue and I think its going to be some therapy work I've got to sort out, Also i have Email a potential therapist or two
- Have branded fast food with someone outside family - This basically means a fast food date of some sort, especially as i've been seeing fast food purchases on and off the past year and makes me crave it like i dream about it, but even just sitting on the sofa could work with this too
- Tweet more - This is going to be important to either call out bad events OR even just feel like i've accomplished something
- Try to make more videos at least 2 per month - Since I feel like I've really been lazy in content creation and this needs to change and maybe make it work with all nighters now a decent laptop I've got just an SSD to change over and then edit,
- Do more Day out vlogs - Hopefully more than 1 this year to be done. Exeter is the first.