Thursday, 19 June 2014

The Early summer biking and browsing

After a few weeks of moping and even still not feeling so happy about life, it was a nice turn of events with the weather to go out, although this is just another trip into plymouth, its worth it since well, it might be.

So, after a quickish fap and smile up with what i would dream of wanting in life (tip it involves cute late night mcdonalds trips and cuddles and romance and gluttony everywhere), i ended up getting up and decided to have a luke warmish shower to freshen me up and help me stop sweating, since the weather today is one of those days for the most part. The shower was nice, using lynx excite everywhere then getting soaked and washing myself over.

After that, i ended up having to hoover the lounge again since the kitten who has still not had her first season yet, decided to scatter her litter tray as per usual, which is probably what most indoor cats do anyway. But after that, it was just checking e-mails and getting changed, sure there isn't much else to say here, but all i know is i did apply suncream on as well as start to get packing with what i need. Part of me was tempted to go to my usual swimming spot but i wants a bit longer for a day out, so Plymouth is a better bet.
A selfie before heading out

Then i got my bike out, packed everything up and headed out, since i've been testing the GPS out on the phone, with almost a year since i bought it, it should be able to recorded me better this time.

View Larger Map

The journey felt quite smooth, sure i was in a rush in some stages and sure there were some pauses but i managed to get by like last time. But i got there about 11:45 after leaving about 10:15 I got to Drake's Circus with ease then went to the toilet to relax for a short bit and also colden my hands since they felt really clustery and sweaty. Then i make my way to starbucks.

I got to starbucks, since swaggy and pete agreed to meet me here at 12, since pete had lunch from work and james had a break from college from CV writing. But before they arrived, i went into Primark to hope to see if any jeans were on special offer, which there were some for a £5, but i had about 4 pairs so i skipped on buying those then headed back, at that point, pete called just to say they are nearby.
They arrived in decent gear then we decided to walk around and head over to wilko for some clothes hangers, £2 for a pack of 8 were good value, but the wooden ones were better :). After he paid for that, we all were chatting, but it felt like it was time for talking about different things, which is fair enough of a point, more so what we had planned for the summer, which i've not planned anything much on.

Then we wandered down to the Asian Supermarket and it was nice although James said about Rice Milk was quite bad and pete bought some aloe vera drink which is really good for you apparently, Then we walked past a shop a cute friend of mine works in that flavour vapour store and they didn't know of, i had to explain it to them, they maybe didn't care but i didn't see here in there, but i'll eventually see her some day.

We got to the market, looked at the games in the best stall there, then i was told about the best stall that does Jamacian food then we noticed a odd stall that had some marshmallows in chocolate, it turns out it was very similar to teacakes but only £0.50 each, so both of the guys had one and i wasn't really hungry, but i was tempted to buy one for eloise (the girl i mentioned in the vapour store) but its best i didn't even though shes nice to me and i kinda find her attractive but shes with someone so i couldn't do much and she probably wouldn't be my type, sure she loves to eat but high metabolism kind of thing going on i reckon :/.

Then we headed out to get a coffee in Union Rooms before J had to go back to his lesson, which was a decent £1.15 for REFILLABLE coffees until 2pm, which is amazing from a price perspective and addictive if your not careful. Before this, on the way, us 3 saw Keisha, we chatted and some careers advice urban legends then she said "aww, why didn't you buy me a marshmellow".

After we left swaggy to finish his day of college, me and pete walked our way to the barbican, with the weather blazing nicely and other things, it was nice to talk about things, i even said about the sign which said there was a place that girls do kiss o grams and other sexual stuff, which he said about getting a job there, which of course wasnt what i meant lol. but there could of been a chance to get laid that i would else miss out on. But then it was time to part our ways, he had to go back to work but he did say he might plan another BBQ at the house, but he'll let me know either way next week, that might be another night out :)....

Then i wandered into the more scenic area of the Barbican and it turns out that Cap N Jaspers have done most of the refitting and the new area was open, so i looked and had a peek and some cute blonde girl ended up droppng her fish and chips on the floor :(, but that tempted me to get one, so i walked over to the Harbourside Fish & Chips and it was a really good value and quick service, i ended up paying £4.75 for a small fish and chips and a standard size of applause which is some sparking apple juice type drink. After that, i walked to the hoe to eat it, i found my recently nice quiet spot and just tucked in.
The lunch by the sea, Fish & Chips and a small drink for £4.75 in total
Eating that was nice, then i dipped my feet in the water, for some reason, my sandals were making my feet slightly painful and sore, which this did help it, then i slipped on my ass from the seaweed which did make my bum wet, but thats my bad. Then i walked up to the hoe and relaxed for an hour or so, it was peaceful, sure there was this hyperkid and these sort of cute BBWs nearby but nothing much to say here, i did mess about with the GPS on the phone again, its having a better "first time to fix or FTTF" which i like :).
Basically the view from where i was, but looking towards the island

A from me POV of the hoe
Then i decided to walk about in town, sure i saw some offers, CEX had some ok things and so did maplin, but i was just wondering and pondering, i did check JD but no sandals nor miss blonde cutie chiquita. But i eventually went and bought a cheap AMD Radeon R7 240 for £35, i checked a PC shop near which had a MSI version for £69.99. So i thought i was getting a good deal, but it turns out OSX Mavericks doesn't support it :(. So i have to try to sell that :(.
The graphics card for £35 (actually £34.95)

Then it was more wandering out, i did notice a girl i know and find attractive working in the pasty out. Actually thats not the first time i've done this, moreso when i fell in love with Janine in 2007. But this girl has beautiful smile, lush light ginger hair, seemed shy and just a nice girl to date and spend one on one time with, of course she isn't intrested in me and gives a straight out NO, if i try to want to get to know her a bit better.
That and i went into the the Sweet shop and saw Hostess stuff for £12, i was tempted to buy that but i didn't.
Eventually i'll buy some US food and do a review, but i'm not sure when.

After that, it was time to get home, it was about 4pm and then i got on my bike and made my way back, this time was longer and i did crash but only slightly grazed my knee, maybe its from the seat being too high. That and nearing clearbrook, there was a lot of primary school kids, it was like a mini traffic jam to get around.
Enjoy the route, the GPS was not as good this time :(

View Larger Map

Then it was a case of relaxing then a nice tea of a pasty, Potato Wedges and a mix of other things. it was nice and i had a ham & egg sandwich after that too ;). A nice sort of ending to a busy-ish day i would say to be fair.
The meal tonight, a pasty, boiled eggs, ham potato wedges, baked beans, mayo & ketchup
And so that ends my day, its been a quiteish one since most of the afternoon was by myself, but thats not a problem for me since at least i saw some friends, but i know i'm missing people that i know i'll never get to be able to love but i'm hoping to find a way.

its late, i'll see you in another blog.

Monday, 16 June 2014

The Farthers day trip to Trago

So, its farthers day, where people can admire and love the people that brought them into this world. This is mostly a holiday based on giftting and today was no exception. To be honest this day is a quick one, although a visit to this place is quite nice and rare for the most part, what actually happened is nothing special, but read on if you even feel like it.

So, i wake up about 10:50, i feel a bit low, sure i tried to fap and i did, it took some effort and the weather outside did make it harder to, but then it was a case of getting up, the usual change but i did end up relaxing and checking e-mails and things. I felt low at this point, with missing people i know and i love but feeling helpless to do it. After this, it was a short time to give out the presents for the day. I bought him 2 bottles of Tribute with custom labels on. That cost me £10 each inc VAT and postage.

Then it was the journey down to Trago, with the weather looking nice and in my sister's new Ford Fiesta which she got recently, i just listened to music while looking out of the windows, maybe daydreaming, which i've done more than ever lately, i mean i've been close to just standing still then water comes out of my eyes without any time to waste, its not been bauling but its been like being empty. But it was nice to listen to the new RR 20th Anniversary Remix album as well as other music, some didn't make me feel good, but music has that emotions in anyway.

Anyways i got there and i found out that apparently i was wearing 2 different socks which if you notice carefully, i was wearing Navy Blue and Black socks on. But just as we got out it started to pour down with rain, which was awkward since most people including most of us were in summer clothes. But that and you can justify chickens and roosters walking around the car park.
The sandals with the different colour socks. 

The chickens and roosters walking around the car park

The walk there was quite calm, sure there were a fair amount of people about, and the tree near the cafe was taken down and replaced with a wheelchair ramp, which did make the building stand out alot more, but then mum went for a toilet and the rest of us waited in the queue, which was alot quieter than usual. But i saw some nice options, a 1/2lb bacon & egg burger with chips for £5.99 or a Pasty & Chips or even a Fryup or a roast. In the end i hastily decided on a pasty & chips and a Tango Apple. it came to around £6.10 for both, which is ok value i guess. the chips weren't that much but meh, its a popular restaurant. 
The Pasty & Chips along with a tango apple. A smal dollop of ketchup and mayo, but those sauces were £0.05 each.
The meal was nice and i did eat a bit of my sisters chicken and veg pie which didn't taste as nice as the ones in ginster slices but that fair enough. But the direction headed into walking around Trago, we all split up and looked around for 2 hours. I noticed some things, maybe more i was walking around in sorrow. I'll list the jist below:
  • Skull Candy uprock headphones for £14.99, from £39.99
  • They stock shitty archos tablets
  • I saw some nice cheese slicer that might be nice for charley
  • Ramdom UKIP propaganda
  • Massage chairs for £100
  • I saw some tents which could be an idea for camping in cornwall with friends, snuggling up and having a fire while just chatting and a mifi dongle giving internet to people around while chatting, heck i could be even having snuggles with a girl and her sleeping on me while the fire is burning and then we sleep together, of course belly rubs involved and a kiss. It makes me cry at the fact that this might never happen but thats due to fucking twats as reality goes.
Then it was nearing 3pm and i ended up looking around the carpets section and i end up meeting the rest of the family, then me and my sister were casually chatting and waiting while mum and dad were choosing a new carpet for the kitchen, some sales assistant came up and asked if we needed anything, he had a jannerish accent but was a nice chap. Eventually my mum found one she loved, then the sales guy made a few jokes, some were harsh but that was just probably my view, i really wasn't in a funny mood. He did tap on the shoulder though, which was odd, like he knew me ???

Anyways, after that was purchased, we had to kill 20 minutes, so we put the stuff ther others had bought in the car then went to buy some coffee and some treats. I didn't really want anything but my mum bought me a brownie, which was nice of her, then the family joked about "i'm not that hungry", but it was nice anyway. 
The Brownie from Warrens and a rooster looking at it or me
But then it was a car journey home and listening to music that was sped up in VLC on my phone, some songs are just better at a faster bpm, but then we got home about 4:50 or so and then it was just relaxing and streaming more watch dogs for a bit. It was more the side missions but the usual here and there, sometimes streaming it gives me a headache but thats just me. 

Then it was time to have some dinner and then it was a bath, the food was light stuff like Pork Pies, sliced ham, crisps, ricecakess, cucumber, mayo. It was nice and gave a nice salad approach to it, but mayo does that for the most part.
My tea on the night. Ham, Pork Pie, Crackers, RiceCake, Crisps, Mayo and ketchup
But this is pretty much the end of my day, i mean its no progress on the search which after last week, its feels like its getting harder and harder and feeling on the brink of giving up and just having to repeat what i said to myself 5 years ago and just cut it out of my life, knowing that i'm still in love with someone deeply, even if they never loved me back or even gave a shit, sometimes your feelings for someone are so strong which you don't care if they even make an effort with you, because you know by just being with them, its the best you could ever ask for. Knowing that this isn't how its supposed to be in a relationship pretty much means nothing now, since nothing and no one is perfect, sure some girls are so dreamy in either looks or even personality which just seeing her smile on a profile picture or even hearing her name makes you feel that butterfly in your tummy feeling. I've had it happen with almost all of the 7 girls i've fallen for ever since i started falling in love back in mid 2007.

All i can say is that things have gotten emotional and i might not have been bauling my eyes out and wishing i was dead, but i feel like part of me just just and empty shell and theres that compassion of spark which is burning out and if i feel like that, well there really is no point in trying and i could end up the guy just dancing in oceana by myself and.......actually i'm already doing that already, ok then maybe i might end up that guy that just goes out to a bar and drinks every weekend (of course it will end up water and actually i partly did that in Tavi shortly after i turned 18 and i felt like shit doing it and now i feel its not worth my time).

But for now, i will see you in a new vlog and blog soon

Sunday, 1 June 2014

The Measurements of May and Progress Report

Well, we are now into June, 5 months into the Year have passed, which although there have been some good moments, its become a year of regrets, lost chances and twats being twats. Anyways, its time to actually check on whats happened in terms of the New Years Resolutions i set this year . But before that, i need to clear up an Experiment or more so a Measurement i've been doing this past month.

The Measurements of May

So some of you might remember a Tally Chart back in 2012 i did, I'll Be honest and explain that it was a repeat of this but since i'm now 21, which some call a peak in the horomones, it was time to see how many times i was getting Boners in a day. So with the help of Office Starter 2010 and Google Keep, it was easier to keep track with less hassle this time. Without any ado, enjoy the tally below:

So, thats the results. To be fair, this doesn't mean much, well looking at that, its just numbers and dates.

Basically the chart shows that the first week has been quite high in terms of how many a day, this was surprising that during the night out, the amount wasn't as much as i thought it would be, I was guessing that i would of had more than what i had but since that night wasn't as amazing as i hoped, it made sense. The first bank holiday was unusually high, maybe i was excited for the night out or maybe the snapchats from the night before were sexy, It was probably the latter.
That and the 3rd week was also more stimulating, even though it was my week to myself, so i had more time to pleasure myself probably.

All in all, i'm on an average of 5 per day for the most part, week 2 and 4 shown that, does that mean i'm losing my libido, probably not as fast as i thought, but there can be a chance of it happening if i don't concentrate on getting my goals sorted.

When comparing it to July 2012, its easy to see that my hormones are much stronger now then at that point in 2012, which is a good sign, on average, it seems i'm harder by one more per day now, which maybe doesn't look much of a difference, but i never exceeded 10, which i have done more than once last month.

Progress on Resolutions

Well, as i'm mentioning this, i should say how i'm getting on with accomplishing my New Year Resolutions i set in January. To be honest, i have to say i've done quite poor, espeically when some of the chances have gone out the window or just on the brink if i can manage to get things sorted or even some form of revenge in some cases. But lets go through them:

  • Get my first kiss - This has still been hard, i've gotten close by giving a kiss on the cheek, which i've not done since early 2013.
  • Get into my first relationship - Its been really no hope, especially with the fact that Emma is engaged still and Charley doesn't date her best friends (i've not seen her since her birthday :/ ). This is along way out and far off, even with trying to impress a few girls to try to be able to get into relationships with them after dating from a few meals out, but its not looking likely, especially with things going on and more people being knocked up and engaged, the phrase "plenty of fish" is becoming bullshit now. 
  • Have a mates or friends day out - This hasn't gone to plan yet, maybe something in August, i really haven't thought about his much, so i need to really.
  • Enjoy a meal with friends at a Chinese Restaurant - Not done yet, this was close to being done with some friends but i've not planned it into detail. 
  • Finish games - Now this is very general but there are a few titles in mind such as:
    • PACMAN CE DX for Steam - All done. I should sort something out with the PS3 version.
    • KH 1.5 HD Remix for PS3 - I've just got some RE:COM of Riku's Story then its the 358/2 Days cineamatics and that should be done before May. And its may and i've not played it at all :@. 
    • KH 2.5 HD Remix - Now this is more for the final months of 2014, if Square do release the game before 2015, KHII i've never played, KH:BBS is intense and really well done, playing with a 360 controller helps too. I'll find out dates at E3
    • Hotline Miami - HOLY FUCK THIS WAS HARD. It made me quite trigger happy. But did it nicely, i might probably buy Hotline Miami 2 when its released.
    • Oddworld - E3 has dates on New N Tasty, i  might preorder for PS3 or Steam, i bought the oddbox on PSN in April so i have 2 copies of the oddboxx (PSN & Steam)
    • RR for Vita - I can't do this until NAMCO DECIDE TO MAKE AN UPDATE FOR THE GAME TO WORK WITH VITA TV. Still the same, maybe E3 could change this. 
But that is basically to sum it up, i've forgot on them, Maybe i'm not reminding myself of them enough, well the first 2 are always in my mind, but the rest i've not been focusing as much on them as i should do. This i need to think about and i've put them on keep to remind myself. 

But for now, its time to see how June plays out and hopefully i get chance to get some of the goals done, although i have been distracted by work and also by playing new games, like Watch_Dogs which i will never finish before this year without 12 hour goes which i have no chance on doing, This is the best i can do. If anyone cares, you can enjoy me playing Watch Dogs for 4 hours below:

I'll see you in the next blogpost