Monday, 16 June 2014

The Farthers day trip to Trago

So, its farthers day, where people can admire and love the people that brought them into this world. This is mostly a holiday based on giftting and today was no exception. To be honest this day is a quick one, although a visit to this place is quite nice and rare for the most part, what actually happened is nothing special, but read on if you even feel like it.

So, i wake up about 10:50, i feel a bit low, sure i tried to fap and i did, it took some effort and the weather outside did make it harder to, but then it was a case of getting up, the usual change but i did end up relaxing and checking e-mails and things. I felt low at this point, with missing people i know and i love but feeling helpless to do it. After this, it was a short time to give out the presents for the day. I bought him 2 bottles of Tribute with custom labels on. That cost me £10 each inc VAT and postage.

Then it was the journey down to Trago, with the weather looking nice and in my sister's new Ford Fiesta which she got recently, i just listened to music while looking out of the windows, maybe daydreaming, which i've done more than ever lately, i mean i've been close to just standing still then water comes out of my eyes without any time to waste, its not been bauling but its been like being empty. But it was nice to listen to the new RR 20th Anniversary Remix album as well as other music, some didn't make me feel good, but music has that emotions in anyway.

Anyways i got there and i found out that apparently i was wearing 2 different socks which if you notice carefully, i was wearing Navy Blue and Black socks on. But just as we got out it started to pour down with rain, which was awkward since most people including most of us were in summer clothes. But that and you can justify chickens and roosters walking around the car park.
The sandals with the different colour socks. 

The chickens and roosters walking around the car park

The walk there was quite calm, sure there were a fair amount of people about, and the tree near the cafe was taken down and replaced with a wheelchair ramp, which did make the building stand out alot more, but then mum went for a toilet and the rest of us waited in the queue, which was alot quieter than usual. But i saw some nice options, a 1/2lb bacon & egg burger with chips for £5.99 or a Pasty & Chips or even a Fryup or a roast. In the end i hastily decided on a pasty & chips and a Tango Apple. it came to around £6.10 for both, which is ok value i guess. the chips weren't that much but meh, its a popular restaurant. 
The Pasty & Chips along with a tango apple. A smal dollop of ketchup and mayo, but those sauces were £0.05 each.
The meal was nice and i did eat a bit of my sisters chicken and veg pie which didn't taste as nice as the ones in ginster slices but that fair enough. But the direction headed into walking around Trago, we all split up and looked around for 2 hours. I noticed some things, maybe more i was walking around in sorrow. I'll list the jist below:
  • Skull Candy uprock headphones for £14.99, from £39.99
  • They stock shitty archos tablets
  • I saw some nice cheese slicer that might be nice for charley
  • Ramdom UKIP propaganda
  • Massage chairs for £100
  • I saw some tents which could be an idea for camping in cornwall with friends, snuggling up and having a fire while just chatting and a mifi dongle giving internet to people around while chatting, heck i could be even having snuggles with a girl and her sleeping on me while the fire is burning and then we sleep together, of course belly rubs involved and a kiss. It makes me cry at the fact that this might never happen but thats due to fucking twats as reality goes.
Then it was nearing 3pm and i ended up looking around the carpets section and i end up meeting the rest of the family, then me and my sister were casually chatting and waiting while mum and dad were choosing a new carpet for the kitchen, some sales assistant came up and asked if we needed anything, he had a jannerish accent but was a nice chap. Eventually my mum found one she loved, then the sales guy made a few jokes, some were harsh but that was just probably my view, i really wasn't in a funny mood. He did tap on the shoulder though, which was odd, like he knew me ???

Anyways, after that was purchased, we had to kill 20 minutes, so we put the stuff ther others had bought in the car then went to buy some coffee and some treats. I didn't really want anything but my mum bought me a brownie, which was nice of her, then the family joked about "i'm not that hungry", but it was nice anyway. 
The Brownie from Warrens and a rooster looking at it or me
But then it was a car journey home and listening to music that was sped up in VLC on my phone, some songs are just better at a faster bpm, but then we got home about 4:50 or so and then it was just relaxing and streaming more watch dogs for a bit. It was more the side missions but the usual here and there, sometimes streaming it gives me a headache but thats just me. 

Then it was time to have some dinner and then it was a bath, the food was light stuff like Pork Pies, sliced ham, crisps, ricecakess, cucumber, mayo. It was nice and gave a nice salad approach to it, but mayo does that for the most part.
My tea on the night. Ham, Pork Pie, Crackers, RiceCake, Crisps, Mayo and ketchup
But this is pretty much the end of my day, i mean its no progress on the search which after last week, its feels like its getting harder and harder and feeling on the brink of giving up and just having to repeat what i said to myself 5 years ago and just cut it out of my life, knowing that i'm still in love with someone deeply, even if they never loved me back or even gave a shit, sometimes your feelings for someone are so strong which you don't care if they even make an effort with you, because you know by just being with them, its the best you could ever ask for. Knowing that this isn't how its supposed to be in a relationship pretty much means nothing now, since nothing and no one is perfect, sure some girls are so dreamy in either looks or even personality which just seeing her smile on a profile picture or even hearing her name makes you feel that butterfly in your tummy feeling. I've had it happen with almost all of the 7 girls i've fallen for ever since i started falling in love back in mid 2007.

All i can say is that things have gotten emotional and i might not have been bauling my eyes out and wishing i was dead, but i feel like part of me just just and empty shell and theres that compassion of spark which is burning out and if i feel like that, well there really is no point in trying and i could end up the guy just dancing in oceana by myself and.......actually i'm already doing that already, ok then maybe i might end up that guy that just goes out to a bar and drinks every weekend (of course it will end up water and actually i partly did that in Tavi shortly after i turned 18 and i felt like shit doing it and now i feel its not worth my time).

But for now, i will see you in a new vlog and blog soon