Saturday, 30 April 2022

The Nervous Appointment for starting a resolution

 So, with things getting intense and busy in work and finally comes to get a bit quieter but actually what was going to happen was the fact that 2 weeks ago, there started to be things appearing and also it means it has to be a chapter to finally start getting things sorted. 

So with that appearing, it means it's going to face challenges and also time to see if this is going to be the end of me or if it's just something natural and ask questions on that and also with issues that have been ongoing for years and maybe going to finally be resolved or at least checked from the new year's resolution back in January. 

The planning. 

Since it was only just an online form to sort out to finally see when this little lump was apparent being felt on what I thought was the testicles with the mini lump and it does cause the risk of cancer but also there has been some more burning and also it means things could get worse if not checked. So I filled out the form on the previous Friday (1 week ago if reading this on the 29/04/2022). 

Then from insomnia that made me wake up at the 6am mark and struggle to sleep.  it was a chance to get a call on Monday and well this is where discussing with a trainee GP for this and well the form I did mention the phimosis since it could be related. But that day was MEANT to be filming a vlog in a quiet area but from 3 visits turned into 5 and then it was time to finish at 8pm, leaving from 9:50am too.

But that was also the time that I had to cycle from one end of the area to another, aka chillaton to Gunnislake and then from there back to Tavi and then back home. 

The workout in the mid-afternoon 

The visits were long in some ways and close to then dealing with work for the rest of the week/ 

The Day before. 

So this was another day of work with various customers and more to sort out and well it makes it that little bit of a tough pack and more nerves in the inside regarding what was happening, Now there was a visit planned after work which was going to get me some time to finally vlog and explain the potentials of what was going to be the how to explain the past few months from the failed dates and the overspending on Alice and the failed virtual date,. Well, the lump and what the outcome of that might be. It was nice to finally get to the bottom of the past and get new videos created, well so I thought. 

A selfie via an iPhone X front camera with screen film 

Standing up before filming 

Eventually, after some kids passing, some sheep on the patch and even more runners by, It was time to cycle back to lidl to get some shopping as I always do best. Which it was the first of being into lidl with some small deals and using a few of the lidl plus deals. 

The bits from lidl about £7.59 

Then it was a case of going to Tesco for some more of the sauce mixes and other Clubcard offers which ended up being paid for in cash on that side of things, my mind was still a bit relieved from filming but also nervous about what the appointment will hold. 

The sauces and mixes 

Then it was a nice cycle up the hills to then get home and greet parents and then it was to have nice leftover food which also gives it that vibe of late combinations. This also was  the last of the lush biscoff spread for like £2 in co-op last week too. 

The tea on Wednesday 

But it then means it to catch up with either filming to potentially edit and actually it was a case of a bath then time to get things planned and the scare of what was to happen in one way or another.  But then it came to researching and crashing out after watching DuckTales, with a recent vibe of binge-watching Disney + for the evenings and that has been a lot in the past 2 months for sure.  But then it was the day of the appointment.

The Appointment Day: 

A normal sort of day at work 

So, waking up at around the 8:30am time and I was planning to be getting going since of the worry of there was a delivery to sort out and they only come between 8am and 9am. But we then go to the plan of getting to work and then time to check on this  PC that had to be a case from an XPS 8900 with the faulty power button.  But then it was more things and at the end of the day it was going to be stock taking as well as starting to finish off some repairs with an iPhone. 

The Appointment. 

So it was 17:40 and I was now getting over to the GP and it was really scary in a way being the ONLY person in there customer or patient wise. like it was going to be just me and well I got told to go upstairs form the receptionist which I've not been up here or let alone in the Surgery since the chance of the second jab back in December. But It was then time to go to a toilet after waiting a couple of minutes. Then it was time to sit down and discuss about things. 

So first it comes to being told that it was not on the testicle but on the epididymis tube was having a cis on it. 

The empty waiting room 

Then as i got out the doctor was by the room doors, then I walked in with her and we sat down quickly for a chat while she got a assistant out before I got changed, and then it was a bit of a scary factor when she had gloves on with going to touch but then she asked to see the lump and then she felt it and told me its not on the testicle but the tube below it, so then I got changed with the belt and then took a seat and we discusses some bits. But she mentioned it was not cancerous, but good to go and check on those things. 

So this turns out to be a case of well we did a discussion about the phimosis and well it lead to some talk about my life such as some of the concerns  such as the bacteria that might form, the size of it and also the fact I struggle to touch it properly such as even with condoms or struggling with that side of getting it sorted. Then it was mentioning about fainting and passing out back in the days of sex education lessons and i mentioned to her about going back to basics on the lessons like that. 

So she also brought up about asking If I've had relationships yet or sex and well asking like "Have you found someone you like" plus some other questions  and i went in some of the past relationships as far as i feel I've had which others just say its one way crush or not really a relationship. 

which then she asked me about being neurodivergent which ok in the past people have been thinking I'm part of that, but there was a questions and some past experiences of the tone changing in relationships with people that Think I was and she did mention that things are better but she just said she'll send me a text at the end of the appointment. 

But then it was a bit of the chance she wanted to have a closed look and she asked me to try to stretch it which i do as the way I usually do it and then she tried but it was getting a  bit uncomfortable so then I got changed and then we wrapped it up on the conclusion side. So she suggested things like the Steroid cream as well as I mentioned the table salt and she said "I've not heard of that one before" so maybe I've got to listen to that conversation with the nurse. But she also did start the referral for the urologist for the reassurance on the penis. Plus there was the psychosexual therapy with talkworks but both of those will be months ahead but at least there is the plan of this to be sorted. 

But then it comes to the part of leaving and thanking her then It was a shaky walk to the pharmacy to then see if the prescription was there and after a but of muttering, it was there and being asked about if i pay and I had to ask about that but ended up meaning I do so it was £9.35 for the steroid cream. 

The prescription 

Then I was trying to film a bit on it and then it was to a customer's house. 

The evening. 

So,. it was then a time to run to the next customer to visit so yes it was still working but then it was a catch up and chatter in some ways  but it was then time to leave after passwords resets and then time to get home and it was hard to run home, it felt shaky but also a relief that a chapter might finally happen.  But then it was time to have some time to reflect on this while walking home. But then it was a nice honey mustard sort of chicken with some bao buns as well. 

The meal from the Thursday night

so there we have it, the end of the day and a big chapter in some ways but other things have been on the mind and it can make it tough choices for it. But it means vlogs might be on there horizon and yes there is the vlog from the Wednesday to sort too. 

But for now its time to head to bed and work for another day which the Friday was then quiet to reflect more on things like the love school or even just talkworks but that will be for another time. 


Friday, 1 April 2022

A march of mistakes

 So, it's not even 2 weeks since the previous post and its been a fucking stress and a half nightmare and I know things are going to be even tougher and well I've been making more mistakes and It made me realise I've had burnout or at; least that case of burn out to deal with and the mistakes at work just feel to pile up, 

But it also has potential for the blips to be good for the future I hear or if that's just my mistakes popping through yet again. But this was luckily the time I COULD Get a DAY and even a morning off this year but here we go on what was to come and boy Did I REALISE some Shit I pulled. 

March starts off with a Messey pancake day 

So its after the 1st day of the new month, it was another day and it ended up another long day in work since things were going to be the tough part. The day itself went quiet enough to actually have the first lunch for nearly 1 month, 

The chicken dippers and the bottle of water 

Since some customer meant I had to run with the shoes from lidl that ripped back from the brakes not working back in September on the bike. But sadly the remains of the recent weather means it's a long run to Peter Tavy and having to download apps from a reset/refresh is not good. Then luckily the customer drove me back to the shop where I got some bits and it was time to run home to get a bit of late-night pancakes finally It was time to have some burger pancakes and then some more pancakes after. Since it felt nice to cook them although a video in which I involve cooking them is a fair bit of time off at the rate it is going to be. 

The start of the pancakes 

A bit of a mess for it 

Looks more solid 

a better attempt 

This one actually lifts 

Another attempt 

It's sort of solid 

Maybe more squishy here 

Now looks scrambled 

A bit more scrambled 

Now looks like a shape 

The finished result 

But that was nice to chow down with and then it was a case of just catching up with work and it seems repairs were starting to flood in again and that was going to be more stress to deal with and expensive, but little did I know it was going to be more expensive with how begging goes. 

The march that starts to really show its toll of bad choices 

Since I was soon to get more texts than I was expecting and one from someone not spoken to since having to spend a taxi on her in January. But it was also nice mum brought in some rubicon and also more late-night food from another visit which was a fair bit of time away

the rubicon bottle

The brisket or chicken with the carrots, crisps and sugar puffs too. 

But it was then a text asking for a just eat voucher, which is fair but just that out of the blue and a false promise to send clips or videos is always the breaker, In that hindsight, I also had to top up the Netflix for the family so getting both was a plan, but that was actually after the text.  What WAS funny though is that I did reply saying I would get one tomorrow (4th) but actually I had NO REPLY from that and even still as I type this up a week and a few days later, no reply so it proves it was not wanted in the end. Especially as it was going to get more expensive with Alice on this side of things and little did I know I was heading into the point of not actually knowing things were going to be the truth or if it just made it complicated as a need for an excuse for me to pay for things as it has been in the past. I got distracted to the point the blog had expired its domain for that. 

So it comes to that day and to be honest it's a blur of what happened. But I ended up finding the chance to really know that it was time to just catch up with things since it visited after visit after visit to be done and little did I know it was going to feel exhausting for more to come. But It was more food with things such as the beef and then those extras as well. 

The Beef with the black bean and rice and the rice cakes 

But then it was to reply that I would get that on Friday which I didn't get the voucher for them but the Netflix one was sorted. BUT knowing my luck I would need it for the weekend in case there was a reply, but Little did I know it was soon time to get some CLOTHES from what I was about to be messaged.  But there is always a catch which comforts eating is involved with finding out some bad news But even that means a Gift card and an extra £1.05 for it. 

So let's be clear on the mistake of what this was going to mean and actually my skin was getting to a very itchy section of the left side of the leg which in terms was making work very itchy and that was me dealing with this for at least the past 3 days which was causing some pain in work and it had the leg in some nasty rashes but was it heat, fleas from Rosie or Finley or something else. But it was going to be the case of it vaded since on the way home It was finally time to get some bits at Lidl and well it offered such as the Vitamin C tablets, the Naturis smoothies  

The lidl shop at the clear evening 

But before this, the chance of having to then get more bits and pieces and actually take a big gamble for a fashion choice gift card, To give context, things at the time seemed like it had gotten quick and things are outgrown and since work for her end was going to happen, so clothes are needed and well me trying to skim for was going to be a problem for it. But while this was close to happening, I got home to have a lush Indian takeout. 

the Indian takeout on a Saturday night 

So let's be clear, from what was about to happen, it meant having to go to work after having the first SUNDAY off since the beginning of February in that side of things and this is going to be where getting this gift card sorted and the chores of emptying cardboard fro the shop which as been piling up for nearly 3 months as well, well a small part of that has gone and it will taker a lot more to deal with later.

We have to begin with this choice of helping out with outgrown clothes, so the plan was "You Choose" to get a card sorted out for another IOU in work and this was to get the chance to make more effort but it also was the case that it was not going to be enough and maybe things were telling me I Pushed myself a bit too far for what was going to be the big mistake in the past 2 months. So that was the first part of the plan but her budget for Primarni was going to be more than I wanted. So I got the gift card planned and then some cardboard was taken back home. Then we got some Sushi and bits from lidl after a dogwalking and it felt nice for a Sunday lunch of a light one. 

The sushi and the salad and extras for the lunch 

But then it was more wind and it was close to being the time to finally get some things done and do a vlog but even that was going to be a tricky one since it was how to do it and also with Rosie wanting ball most of the time it gets hard to even talk and film without her barking her head off. But Also things got a bit more expensive since the gift card ended up not working which means more sending over for this and was getting a bit out of control for things. It makes that buzzing feeling well disappear to a well I've kept making more mistakes and I really need to stop. But it's to argue with me and also get a shoutout done for someone that DM'med on insta the very SAME Day. 

The hat and the lead selfie 

This lead me to get some preparation with the bike again since the next day was going to be a long with going to Lydford then back to lamerton which actually I was not prepared for the repair I was cut out for but it also felt nice to have a smaller type of roast on that night, Tartare sauce really does go well. 

The Roast on a Sunday night 

We then go to get the battery charged and mote chatter with WhatsApp but it was feeling Like I'd really gone too far and feelings felt more of others than happiness. But it was also the legs getting those bites and red ashes which was making it irritable but it was soon to disappear as the weather was getting better or so we thought.

The Rashes starting to go but were still sore to touch 

The week of losing sense and proper thought train 

So it then leads to the second week in March which actually feels a different vibe with the weather and feels like Spring is soon to be on the way.  The plan was to go to my usuals, but since they sadly had covid, it meant to slip them and go to a different customer that text me about some phone to swap if I remember correctly. So off there it went and it was then to cycle from that to get to Lydford which I ended up on actually a nice peaceful route. 

Heading back from Lydford 

The Bike 

So this visit was then getting from here to Lamerton, but only with 1,2 bars of battery left or so which means it was making sure to conserve the power in case it from those hills and that slightly strong wind was appearing as well. Eventually, I was dealing with this customer which took longer and was pushing things on time for its limits, and that week was going to provide the stress on that side. 

But then it was going to be more visits, we next start off with getting to a visit which was meant to be planned out but this was still a blur on things. There were some more demands on WhatsApp to deal with which Soon I was going to have to do more bailing out with what was to come and then feel I'd gone too far with things. But it was finally nice to have some sausage rolls after paying money into the post office which actually was soon to be ANOTHER problem for the end of the months. 

The £1.05 for sausage rolls on Tuesday

But then it comes to more long days and then it comes to more stupid mistakes to happen such as burning an envelope of cash by PURE fucking accident after another long day of work and getting home like 8pm and having leftover food. But it was also quiet enough in work to get some of the GT7  Retail kits opened and build since my rep was asking about the GT7 pics due to requirements and there were MORE boxes to yet carry down for other launches of games. 

The GT7 Standee

But then it was getting to also deal with the fact of after that lush leftovers meal and spending time with family, it was turning into a point of going too far, mistakes were being made and really I was in a stage of regret, especially with Alice was begging for help for potentially having to move from her flat to her parents place on the weekend due to something about debt the actual owner has to pay off and wrong place and wrong time mentality. I started to shed tears on my own doings for what some say is the right thing and well this was where I had to really understand and think about easing this potential relationship off since it does not feel like love, it feels like a one-sided love affair. There was a former friend that got concerned and knew who she was but more on that later. Plus I also was asked about having Maccies with someone that is a fan of mine but was a bit of weight loss. 

Chicken Tikka Masala with Scone, brownies and even Honey puffs with mayo. 

But then it was more work to attempt to catch up with and longer days ahead which to be fair, I was still collapsing mentally at this point from how things have been and well, I miss someone from my past whom I know I've been saying sorry out in the open air that so many times and direction feels like its collapse since both of us sort of didn't go as far as well in honesty, I wanted it to but it was getting more mistakes from Keyboards to end up being warped when fitting to even just more cases of underselling items and some keeping tabs or less charging, even on Visits. Also More honey puffs. 

Another chips based meal but with added Honey puffs 

Now then, this was also before this of when the stress goes from having to deal with 999, now one customer or chap fell outside the shop. Now, this meant it was going to be a tough one to call 999 and then see what was to happen. Since it was the case of them not getting the chance to reply to me minus getting the defib even when he was breathing, albeit heavily. So then it was a run to the Townhall to get the defib which even that was just a push of a button in the end. But from that and getting it, the chap was standing up and then escorted to his flat. So then it was to put it back and then get a customer sorted. By 17:30, the ambulance called when it was all over and I was on my way for a Home visit over a half-hour later. 

Chicken with the added salad, olive bread and onion rings which are not as nice tasting as the bigger backs from other brands compared to the snacktastic ones here 

So then, it was passing the days always and work was more hectic and actually only VERY slowly starting to weaken which means I can catch up with bits and pieces, or so I thought. But it was coming into the plan of having to sort something out for the removal van for what could have been a step for a future but I was close to realising the truth, So the plan was with a removal van to be sorted for the Sunday so she could move into her dads.

But it was finally the weekend after this eventful and it was going to go not as planned such as making some Crispy seaweed which actually BURNT my Mouth and that made it sore for the next 4 days at least after. I kid you not. A Bikelock was purchased which later on would mess things up quicker than I expected. 

The garlic bread with the extremely hot crispy seaweed 

At the End of one £££ chapter 

So it then leads to the weekend which it was getting better weather and actually it was that time to get some chores done, but it always starts to week up after a fap and also get the coriander smoothie out which it has not changed, but that mouth was still sore from the night before. Also, peanut butter cups are soo Moorish too. 

The coriander smoothie

But it was then time to have a roast meal at nans and this was a mum's cooked and it was a nice-ish meal but their meet is always a bit colder than others for the part. But it was nice to catch up with the grandparents even with things not going as great as it seems from the signs of Alzheimer's now starting to affect both of them. Even when grandad fell off the chair while looking for an mp4 player he was wanting to find to get some organ programs sorted. 

The Roast 

So at this point in the afternoon, I got a message from a girl in Brum via feabie  which was nice in a way but then a quote appeared

 If I tell you something, promise you won’t repeat it ?

But it was then time to drive back home in the nice weather and it felt good to then go for a walk, but there was also a chance to get some and then we drove over to a place near a former customer of mine that recently actually passed away. But as that happened, it started to pour with heavy rain and I mean heavy heavy rain that was happening. There was some more anxiety and tensions due to the possibility of moving there since Dad is getting frustrated with, life and feeling to move at the worst times with the cost of living is a thing to always be the case. But After that and staying in the car, it was time to go for a walk and well the moors. But the rain and the clear sky then made it be the chance of a rainbow or even a double rainbow appearing. 

The Double rainbow while dogwalking

But it then leads to dryer weather and then it was time to get the bike lock I purchased on the Saturday for £25 and got it set up, it means I don't have to have the keys breaking on that side of things and it makes it a bit quicker to get it locked for when it needs to be. 

The Bike Lock
Getting it fitted and easy to lock

But now I forgot and found the juicy part. So that conversation from feabie which did make some truth from some previous chats led to the truth which I probably was going to find out sooner or later now that was Alice was with someone else, to be fair, I even had a feeling this was the case from that pic of the table with the 2 napkins on and well it was at one point going to catch up and have to ask or get the truth or something. But well turns out barbers were the key in this. But fuck it, I was told that it was a trying to leave him affair for me which to be fair at this point I'm open to being in an open relationship since its important to accept that I'm not experienced enough for most people these days and taking this slow is just something that is needed.

 But Well it was taking its toll though and I was also knowing I can't blame her for this since it always has been the trait of mine, 7th times the charm as it goes over the years from back in the 2008 days, nearly losing blocking ended myself from rejection and someone loved with someone else for the big time to even the was final  time end of last year and the different feeling of a friendship not lost from all of what happened together

Either way,. it happened and asked her, Well it just felt like mentally exhausting to the nth degree, and im not speechless but not also sure how to put it. Especially when  it felt like I had to get more food on that side of things too like 

*So fucking tempting to inseert exported chat here but complications  I dont want to deal with right now
But then it was the end of the weekend already and things were seeming to be a bit eased off and it felt like I was sort of prepared. But this was also the time to go back to feeling like I'm working and actually the next week was the start of things to feel less hectic and it was a bit of change. But that is when the other day comes out and it was time to put the bike lock to a nice casual test. Since it was the first visit back to regulars on Monday mornings, since he recovered from COVID. But it was going to be a bit of a longer one to get with some of the other visits to get sorted and soon the Visits during the Mondays were going to ease off, minus when a text did not get replied back to due to Giffgaff. So that meant it was time to get a 12th gen i5 PC setup and also there was a bit of that to plan out and it makes it a long time for yet another visit to sort out that day. Still shaking from what happened last night AND STILL had to pay for a fucking taxi. So that was £20 spent outside the shop as I finished that day. 

But at the end of that day, it felt like another time to plan out and more texts to get things done, but it was also the case of a return visit to a customer that I was unable to visit for nearly 2 months due to the infection rates and that was going to mean ALOT of time to reflect on what was soon to happen.  Especially as soon it was going to be more texts with money and Work was going to be every day for visits and more failed orders which would make it a bit of stress on that side. But the mistakes eventually get repaid or if mistakes are repeated. 

Then it comes to the argument for the final time we spoke and BOY this was making me feel a fucking stressed, luckily I finished a bit earlier and walked Rosie when this happened. But that had been a case in the past with a girl in wales that was toxic in the past. But fuck at least the end was there and we have not spoken since. This was also around the time when I had a crush on this cuter girl I once really liked and got flowers for and then I swear I saw her on FF and turns out shes a death feedist and moved to the other side of the UK. 

Eventually, it was Wednesday and the cycle for this visit. the weather was wet on that day and it was that case of this Visit, which the rain was almost coming out and also that was the chance for this to really shin of stress but with a Test still in my wallet negative from the Sunday, Mask on and I was let in after cycling to the home by about 5:50pm, which the sun was golden and set to the point of blinding. But well that went better than expected and recovery is good and sometimes an ios update can really save stress. so in end, it was getting to leave by 8pm in the dark. 

On the cycle home, There was some wind and the darkness feels that adrenaline rush, but It was time to go to lidl and get some bits like the Bakery 30% off bits they started offering with the app and the food si MOOR/ish and probably does explain if I've gone up to the 187lbs mark. 

Let's then come home to a nice casserole since Wednesdays are usually for that and to use that relish from it really adds the taste and it makes the flavour nicer and this is also the fact lidl makes some of the knocks off flavour corn snacks. But the onion rings are not as nice; 

The chopsticks with the casserole and the Chinese 5 spice 

and one to another ££ chapter 

But it then appears with St Pratficks day, like the day of what is no drinking and just working as normal. Or so I thought it would be. 

So it was to get the work done and the usual time of more customers to deal with but a visit at the end of the day was nice and this was going to face with a text, a text which felt good and at the same time repeating what I just left with Alice. A £13 and I know it was going to be a why. but also another time from the past ends up in a message of telling her about her partner but it was more being thought of as a friend and I get that but with this lifestyle, it can be tricky to have and feelings do get important but I know on my end I didn't get feelings for that reason. But to be fair, It was never being asked for money which was a nice bonus and feeling a bit less of my bad habits, well there was the plan to get food and have called while she eats it but that might be a far away happen at points. But it was nice to get time to get lunch for what was the last time since typing this up. Plus it was nice to see an old friend that popped in, turns out he's doing a lot better than me but did invite me to bristol for a hang out at some point so that is something to think about too. 

The lunch from that Thursday

Also, the shop was getting stocked and some consoles were potential for an arena 

But in the end, it was the case to get it sorted and just pay it and hope it worked out for the future. Now it was going to be the case of visits getting still hectic. But that just felt it was the start of getting to repeat. This was also the time that a plan for more Series X was to be sold for the next week and that meant E-mails to be sent over and now work's phone provider was actually getting to deliver text messages for that. So that was the hope it would work. But then it was heading into the weekend and it was time to catch up with this post and also the time to start a classic TV show which I saw on Disney Plus and watching or attempting to watch in a nice straight line but it has been ending out, even as I type this I just got up to season 4. 

But that Friday night has been nice to have Kebab from the Tavy Chicken and Pizza place which that was actually quicker than Mickey's Place next door. But there were some cute sized ladies in there that served and my nerves were shaking with the leg a bit here and there, especially me and mum were the only ones there wearing masks, but that's ignorance and rising cases going for you. But in the end, the small kebab mum had was AMAZINGLY Huge.  But not shown since it was those extras normally not shown 
The spicy spuds, fishcakes and chips with the curry sauce 

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But that weekend was then to start the packing up and cleaning in ways since in time, things were going out of control with cardboard and that is needed for the plans to get a mini arena sorted. But it was more to get things up and planned and this was the final Sunday of not working for March at this point. But I got home and had to cook my own tea since I got home and then mum and dad were getting back from Exeter for the day via the train. Plus a customer came in and turns out they wanted a selfie with me so that had to happen, that really gives me the feeling of I've washed up on Youtube. 

The mix of the food and actually it was like an omelette of sweet chilli and also adding some crispy onions in there 

But then it was later that night while doing online work and watching Spider-man and I got a text which was pretty deep and I had a feeling things were going to be questionable at the best of times, sure it means a chance to get the new year's resolutions done or just send up spending another whack, I mean even as I type this it gets more money spent which is what I'm about to experience 

So it comes to a Sunday, this is going to be well possible the last day off before April or so things would seem and well that makes it in its own right feel nice, the weather was starting to pick up for the nice time of it and really felt like things were going to improve and was maybe wrong but we'll see. But we start off with another coriander smoothie. Plus it was nice to have a Cookie onion sandwich since this day was also getting some bits sorted for grandparents since things are looking tough on one side and oddly better on the other, it does worry but things will come to a closure in a sad way and a challenge to face.

The cookie and onion sandwich 

But after seeing my grandparents, it turns out my sister came over to visit since she had free time while her fiance was golfing, so it was for a chance to go Morrisons for lunch and actually that was on her for paying bless her. Now we eventually got there and we ended up passing sons of the friend of dads that got my parents covid a month ago and it was me just hands behind my back with a mask on while listening in and hearing about how they have matured and things like that. But then it was time to tuck in after a 15-minute wait for the Chicken tikka masala as ever. The spice with it makes it much nicer for the most part too, even with the nice chips and the mayo, but the thing is that the exact sauce they use is NOT sold in the store? 

The chicken tikka masala and the Rice with the chips. 

then it was a case of getting that eaten and then it was time to eventually get some more bits from Morrisons with them since there was the kebab meat and maybe something else, but it was then time to notice the weather getting more cloudy and also it felt less of the summer vibe but that was to come back in the later time. 

But as that ended, it has to be planned out to get things done in the way we need to and it was nice to finally catch up with talking with parents before the sister had to leave and go home to her pugs. But it was then time for another walk to reflect on things before some Train simulator and a bath as well as more chance to get the blog post typed up. Especially as it will be another week to be dealing with. But it's reflecting on why videos I've STILL NOT done. 

But then it was time to start the last 10 days of March and boy we have a bit to talk on. 

But it comes to the Monday and that was another long day of visit after a break to then a visit like it was also the stress of getting the accounts done at the same time. since jobs were easing off or so I thought and it was starting to get the incomes sorted, but at the same time, the prep work for the Series X was to be sorted since well Hopefully getting them sold in a weekend was important. But that Monday was also the key to getting a mothers day present of a gift card and a water bottle. 

But this was the RIP to the fucking bike lock from just over 1 week ago. It turns out it semi locked to the point it did not unlock from the bike park near the first shop I used to work in ever and well. that was dirty streaming to meself getting it open with a Flathead screwdriver and following the guides, but int the end I had to loop the tyre around the lock and got out. 

Then it was to try to catch up with some more of the blogpost or Did I crash out doing some Train Simulator, since downloading the Class 150 Pack was good but a shame I could not play with a controller, until reading the manual a few times and got it 9 days later. 

Time went by and more Spider-man watched until about 01:00 most nights, but the visits were getting to be booked up again and it was soon time to visit an old friend's mum it was nice to catch up but things are tough for her and there is the guilt I do feel with what's happened to a school friend of mine from back in the Tavi College days and even primary and former neighbours over 20 years ago, though he asks about me and how things are and fates with him remind me of actually 2019 which changed my life almost forever and the big hole I'm feeling is from being able to help with a journey for someone special back then. But it was nice to see the sunsets and the red sun on my run home from work in the very dimpsy sky. 

But also there was RAM to be upgraded since one of the RAM boxes from a supplier ended up damaged so that's the ram I owe work along with £250 of Just eat gift cards. 

The RAM to upgrade 


But it was then back to carrying on with things and nearing the weekend and Also the time of a phone call at 1am while working on rave./  being asked for £40 due to refunds to be paid back, which I know where this is going and REALLY know I have to realise things are close to repeating. But that was sent and then it was Xbox's to sort out when arriving for the same time as Kirby, Also there was Ghostwire Tokyo but even that I did not get a chance to actually collect until the last day in March. But it was other releases to sort out with the FB friend that calls me the angle and also had some customers hooked on Tamagotchis that go re-released I vaguely remember it and actually even all ages are buying and not actually kids, which means things are a surprise. But this was another time to finally get some lunch at work as well. AND this was also a nice time to get a Rustlers burger on the way home for £0.50. 

Mum got me a snack and a can of Viomto which I still had the bottle of strawberry water at work 

The Rustlers for the way home from Spar

But it was then that Saturday and well it was back to what feels normal and...fuck, it was working the weekend. So it was some work to get done with A PC to sort out and also hopefully the chance for consoles to sell.1 customer bailed out, 1 not got back and 1 texted to say that they would pick up Tuesday. But it was nice to not worry, the weather was nicer and some games were bought as well. But in the end, it was time to get home and then sort of relax and sort of get some more online work done to get some extra funds for this coming week which I did realise I'll need from the favours I was going to be asked. Plus the packing of mothers day parcel was to be done too. 

Mother's day presents 

Mother's day of cleaning and work ish

So we have to forget the Sunday on that side of thing,s it was another quiet day, but we all got up around the 9am time and with the clocks have now gone forward, But mothers day was here and then after getting out the bag and card for mum, we then went to work so we can finally get a bit of cardboard removed which has been making it semi landfill for over a month, that is ALOT of orders but that is how things have been going. But it was then to get the table moved and a lot of things hoovered up from a LONG time there and lost from repairs and magnets not doing their job. But eventually, it was tidier and felt like a shop and more plans for an arena may be coming soon.

The tidied sort of area 

a Cleaner floor than before but for how long this will last for 

but it was then time to get Big sure working g on the work desktop, plus installing Big Sur which is a to-do list for the Clevo laptop running OSX as well. but this past week has been the sign of messages NON stop from a Facebook friend from his mac and build I did for him a year back. But OBS does not work with Blackout audio plugins is the reason for the cause of simple streams becoming painful. But that was overwhelming for the last week of march to be dealing with. But it really shows when I finally left the shop at about 3pm mark to come home to mum and dad in the Sun but the wind chill was REALLY getting there, so it makes it easier and clear to eventually get some food and then Time to do one more hotr clean on the bike before tea. Since then it was to try to catch up on this /actually play train sim and get the battery charged up. 

The Rustlers with shreddies, salad, chicken and the sweet chilli lemon soy sticks 

Before bike clean 

After a bit of a bike clean 

But then it was to get some catch up sorted out and more chance to get this post done since it has been a time of not getting shit done and also enjoying the Classic Spider-man a fair bit too. Which then leads to a luckily quiet Monday./

So that money I woke up as normal and then got to the regulars since it was to clone over a 240GB SSD due to an older laptop and it took over 2 hours to copy over like 80GB over USB 2 speeds. so it was a case another visit the first in April to finish that off. But I then cycled to the shop to get some admin and website cancellation done (fuck £83 a year from £47 for a 1-year beginner plan renewal)  sorted and STILL messages about OBS also one customer did knock on the door which is standard, then it led to an emergency visit and due to the post office mostly closed last week, Paying money in was £650 overdue which I did with a cycle back around, which then it was starting to spit rain too. 

But after that, it was a visit near Co-op and passing loads of mount kelly kids, and then it was time to get some bits we forgot to get from the Sunday, So it was some snacks and leftover cookies but the best was the cherry Bakewell ice cream which always is nice.

The mini shop in co-op on a Monday evening 

But then it leads to more work to deal with, this time we had to deal with a nice plan to be able to test an RX 570 due to a customer having some issues on an old Lenovo motherboard. But that was also the time of a LONG visit which meant I Didnt get home until about 7pm from a FB business lesson to teach, Bu then it was time for some tea before then going to lidl and going shopping with mum since there was some bit she needed and there was a problem with the van for dad which caused a fair bit of issue and will do in the next weeks or so. But a shop in both places. It felt nice and quiet to ship in the night too since there is a good quiet vibe to it, but it shows that some things do run out.

In the end, it was 9pm after shopping and then time to get the card fitted and drivers installed then some Train sim and finally got the Class 150 to work on the controller and failed the scenario bur the sky was nice and even on medium-high settings, the game was 30FPS and about 54C when the fan was on 40%. 

That sun with dynamic lighting over the river 

It feels nice in's way 

A view of the virtual St Ives 

That virtual beach of Penzance 

But then it has the Wednesday ended up something I was NOT expecting to do, and that was with the fact I had to help someone with a payment which last time I did that was the chargeback/refund 2 weeks later and this is that risk of that happening again, but after a quick visit, it was done and had to do an advance to get it done and 2 hours later the payment asked for did go through, but not rushing myself to get paid since what happened last time At least I can be prepared. There are some caveats for this but that I'll find out at some point. And that leads to the last 2 days to finally finish some work off, collect the parcels, book more Tamagotchis and deal with a printer as well as a phone screen that almost went wrong but that was from the pressure from the battery not being in. 

The Resolutions: 

Well, its the end of 3 months already and actually things have failed on my end badly which I'm hoping it does improve for and well that is going to be like things such as Goose fair is back for 22 and potential for omracer's holiday once I save up the money that I wasted on the chance with Alice. But as a catch up is below:  

  • Sort out the Down their problems and prepare to be able to have sex  - Work is easing off but it will be a fair bit of time before this happens 
  • Have branded fast food with someone outside the family - Things might be changing on this if the plans come out 
  • Tweet more -  Its short bursts of things and fails in a way 
  • Try to make more videos at least 2 per month  - 0 videos in 2 months =  FAIL 
  • Do more Day out vlogs  - No luck so far but if the weather gets like this, it's going to be better for that and might find the above one fixed. There are some Mondays off in May coming up as well. 

So for now, enjoy this post and there will be videos in the next week if I get time to.